getaway

I'm off to Jakarta for a few days.
hope to get some peace in mind and a great time.
i'll update soon.
goodbye fellow readers!

NUMB

It has been 11 days i'm living my life without you.
a lot had happened.
and most of the time,i need you the most.
but i can't find myself to go and find you like i used to do.
i was mad.
i was upset.
i was angry.
i was hurt really bad.
but now,i think i have to try and let this one go.
like i always do.
i have to fix myself.
i have to TRY and forgive you.
some ask me to go and get you back.
some ask me to stay away.
but what i want?
idk.
exhausted mcm ni.
but i can barely 'move' da.
if things were meant to end,how i wish we could end things the right way.
but you can't find it in yourself to be fair to me.
i wanted to see you for the last time.
i wanted to hear your voice for the last time.
i wanted to salam you for the very last time.
but i don't have that chance.
it is the most terrible goodbye.
i am all alone now.
yes Allah is with me.
but that's it.
while the others said they are here for me,those are just words.
it can never be the same.
they don't know how i feel.
i want to fix things.
but idk how.
maybe i should just leave it this way..

bla bla bla

I NEED MY BEST FRIEND BACK!

:'(

bla bla bla

I NEED MY BEST FRIEND BACK!

:'(

LONG MISERABLE DAY

OMG

I AM SOO TIRED RIGHT NOW.

WHY?

BECAUSE TODAY,I'VE BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT.

THANK GOD NO ONE GOT HURT.

BUT THE CAR WRECKED.

AND I'M THE ONE BEHIND THE WHEEL.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON MY MIND THAT TIME.

SGT PENAT RIGHT NOW.

I CALLED MANY PEOPLE TADI FOR HELP.

THANK YOU FRIENDS.

BUT THEN AGAIN,EVERYONE IS MESSED UP TODAY BECAUSE OF ME.

DAMN.

GUILTY SGT.

HAIIHHH.

what's on my mind?

DON'T TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL,

UNTIL YOU'VE BEEN IN THE SAME EXACT SITUATION.

I NEED TIME.

HELL A LONG TIME

TO SEAL BACK THE WOUND THAT ONCE WAS HEALED..FOR A WHILE.

whatever it is,i have to be strong.

yes,of course right now,everything seems to be so blurry.

but i know,

i'll be back on my feet.

soon.

maybe.

for now,let me be sad.

let me be mad.

let me be upset.

let me cry my heart out

let me curse

let me do stupid things.

because one day,

i am NOT gonna look back at this.

i am not gonna look back at YOU.

ohh love you,yes i still do.

xtau bila bole stop.

kau doa la aku dah x fikir pasal kau.

fuck liars

fuck broken promises

fuck false hopes

p/s:kau kejam buat aku mcm ni.

11.1.11

THE DAY EVERYTHING ENDS.
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR BEING SO CRUEL.
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU

AND PLEASE,STOP STALKING ME.AND THIS IS MY FUCKING BLOG.
I CAN FUCKING BLOGGED ANYTHING I WANT.
IDK WHAT I DID BEFORE TO DESERVE THIS.
2ND TIME KENA MACAM NI.
JINX KOT.

the waiting is excruciating

IDK WHAT ELSE TO DO RIGHT NOW
PENAT LAA.
PENAT KENA IGNORE LIKE THIS.
IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING I DO FALL INTO WRONG PLACES.
DON'T GIVE UP ON ME JUST YET LA.

selfish act??

Yes,i am happy at the moment.

But then again,i couldn't help but knowing that,someone got hurt over my happiness.

am i selfish??

i don't know.

i don't know what to do.

to that person,idk if you're going to read this.

But please know that i never meant this to happen.

i never thought it will ended up like this.

and i definitely did not mean to hurt you.

and for that,i am truly sorry.from the bottom of my heart.

i truly am.

spreading the happiness

I had the sweetest ending of 2010

and greatest beginning of 2011

I couldn't ask for more.

Thank You Allah,for blessing me with happiness.

I've been longing for this moment for quite a while.

and now finally,yes.

Welcome 2011.