NUMB

It has been 11 days i'm living my life without you.
a lot had happened.
and most of the time,i need you the most.
but i can't find myself to go and find you like i used to do.
i was mad.
i was upset.
i was angry.
i was hurt really bad.
but now,i think i have to try and let this one go.
like i always do.
i have to fix myself.
i have to TRY and forgive you.
some ask me to go and get you back.
some ask me to stay away.
but what i want?
idk.
exhausted mcm ni.
but i can barely 'move' da.
if things were meant to end,how i wish we could end things the right way.
but you can't find it in yourself to be fair to me.
i wanted to see you for the last time.
i wanted to hear your voice for the last time.
i wanted to salam you for the very last time.
but i don't have that chance.
it is the most terrible goodbye.
i am all alone now.
yes Allah is with me.
but that's it.
while the others said they are here for me,those are just words.
it can never be the same.
they don't know how i feel.
i want to fix things.
but idk how.
maybe i should just leave it this way..